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Irritatingly Repetitive

Post: EtherealJinxed | Poem: Irritatingly Repetitive | Image Courtesy: @surrealaberrantHave you been in a loop
Like a mad person in a soup

Refreshing the same thing again
In the hopes of getting a single mail

Failed attempts on holding the one
Who was never yours and that’s the pun

So have you been stuck in a loop
Where dreams are better than reality, you fool

Queuing up the moments to watch it again
With the hope of reliving it in vain

Hundred and a thousand calls,
But those were never yours to dial and shove

Yes, I have been in a loop
Stuck in a time-warp waiting for you like an old boot

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Once upon a time

Image Courtesy: SurrealAberrantBaby, you don’t know what I am going through
How hard I am trying to hold on to you
Those difficult times still strike me mad
And I close my eyes, lift my hand and clasp your hand tight

Imagination is getting bigger, the reality blurring
And I think how it is that things changed so quick
I still love you the same insanely
But why do I feel so confused intimately

There was never a moment I thought ill of you
Then why did I hid things from you
It still feels all so chaotic in my head
May be I thought redemption the only way out

And that reminded me
Of why I started writing in the first place
For I had to simply talk
Of the love that was once upon a time

.

.

Note: People ask me how I write such, what it was that inspired me to write it. There’s a lot of regret and secrets that I hide hinting at various aspects of a lover, who is consumed by his/her regret and worries whether the person he/she longed for or loved wouldn’t be loved in the same way again because of the guilt and the dire need of salvation. And I reply back, “what could I say, it’s just my vivid imagination on hearing the tales of the close few ones I have.”

Time to tell

Time to tellThere was a thing going on in her head
That she couldn’t simply frame
Her life that was she could see seeping away
Every moment it felt more insane

Slushing and slogging all was there
Just that she couldn’t fit in her tiny-weeny brain
Her love that was she could see slipping away
Every second it more inflamed

She burnt deep down
She waited for it every night
Imagined in her waking dreams
She saw herself in the mirror
She was becoming like a mist

She lay awake
Still waiting on him, red-eyed
She saw everything like a crystal clear screen
Knew he was the one she needed to be
She couldn’t take the plunge, still

Partying and boozing all was there
That was the meaning of her being
Her sketch that was in front
Every instant it more befuddled

There was a thing going on in her head
That she couldn’t simply frame
Her love was just distancing away
Everything becoming a big charade

In a jiffy, all vanished
He woke from a dream
And was left staring
Into the whites of her eyes

Crazy night

(background) What are you musing? It’s a crazy night for all to see.

30 down, 60 more to go
All clean as a slate
What do you mean?
Of course you have two
One for yourself
One for the rain
It’s just a check

(background) What will you do?

40 down, 50 more to go
All clean as a slate
I could not afford to lose it again
I could not for it was all that was left
One two and tango
No three, just a check

(background) What will you do, rock music moving you sway?

50 down, 40 more to go
All clean as a slate
I could not afford to bring her up again
But she was there in the background
All like a filmy score
It’s burning, check check check

(background) What will you do guzzling every single sec?

60 down, 30 more to go
All clean as a slate
You were all there was to my happiness
What do you mean?
Let’s do a tango
And that’s all left to check

(background) Why do you wanna do wiping it clean?

70 down, 20 more to go
Ok, nothing is neat
All is just fleeting
The surreal part just leaving
High-time, check.

(background) What are you gonna cry blurring every syllable aside?

80 down, 10 more to go
Ok, nothing is neat
All is just fleeting
The surreal part just leaving
High-time, I am hot.

(background) How do you wanna say? You are just crazy on the night.

90 down
And that’s enough
That’s my limit
For all to see
I am just drowning deep

(background) You are just crazy on this night.

Mmmm…. Mmmmm…

(background) You are just crazy on this night.

Note: Did this take time to write? Oh no. I am just high on the night. Like every other single night.

Us, tangled (Part – 2)

IMG_1789Baby, let’s talk today
I wanna tell you about my happy times
And all include you in the frame
‘coz any frame loses the charm when it not finds you

(Oh, you are just stupid
I know you are ‘tupid to be in love with me and so am I
My life just stops without you
And I do whatsapp on my own to fill the hole that’s you)

I am happy when I see you smile
I am even happy to hear your voice
I am happy when you call me
I am happy simply to see you flash on my mobile screen
I thought I would go crazy missing you

(Oh, you are just stupid
And I can do anything to untangle your life
I will fix it baby, I will fix it for you
I will fix all for you)

I no want the fix if it not has you
I no want anything in my life
I no want anything, you are my life
Say what you may, my heart knows the truth
It only and only loves you
I love you…

(Both) I love you…

Prequel to this is: Us, tangled

Us, tangled

BloodBlood blood blood, oh blood everywhere
Then I turned, saw you and jumped out of a dream.
Baby, do I act this every night?
Or it’s your nearness tipping me crazy
(Honey, will you please relax?
I am gonna be at your side, be your life)

Oh yesterday was my favourite day
(‘t was mine too)
You were there with no one around
(Oh ya, no one around)
Or were there, and we didn’t notice?
(Ya, may be
Baby, you can imagine all you want)

Those little moments, the fights, the love
Those stolen kisses in the midst of the crowd meant everything to me
(Still you didn’t stop me while
I was walking out in the middle of the night.
It was my self respect I sacrificed for the love of you)

I am sorry.
I never expected, it wasn’t my experience before
Darling, you were my dreams born in reality
I was shocked, I was petrified, I was scared
I could see you again going away from me.
(Honey, will you please relax?
I am gonna be at your side, be your life)

Blood blood blood, oh blood everywhere
Then I turned, saw you and jumped out of a dream.
Can I dare of thinking a life with you?
Please tell me, can I dare of thinking a life with you
Oh please tell me, do not keep mum this time at least.

Saaki

SaakiKaise kiya tha, o sakhi
Wo kadam badhaye they kaise
Rukh hi toh modne ka sahash kiya tha tu ne
Bhale tab sab mitti mei mil gaye they.

Darpan hai wo, mera pratibimb hai
Kaise chunun kis shakshiyat ko
Bas yehi toh mere jeevan ki dor hai.

Kuch achha idhar hai, kuch accha udhar
Kuch bura idhar hai, kuch bura udhar
Aur is idhar udhar k chakkar mei
Sab bera-gark hai.

Kaha tha us ko ek baar
Kaidd kar k rakh lena
Kabhi jaane na dena
Par sabki apni zindagi hai
Koi kisi ka kabhi thode hi hai
Na kabhi ban sakega
Na main aur na wo khud.

Prerana leni hai tujhse
Sikhna hai bahut kuch ab bhi
Har sambhav koshish karte rehna hai mujhko
Zindagi k palon ko ullas mei jo tabdil karna hai.

Kar sakungi kya
Kya itni himmat hai mujh mei
Talaab k us paar jaane par bhi
Kahin patthar hi toh na milenge.

Sab kuch bas ek soch hai
Jeevan ki ek kashish hai.
Yun aate hain bas yaad kisi k shabd aaj
Ki zindagi ek safar hai bas sifar se sifar tak.

 

Added February 13, 2014:
Why did I call my poem ‘Saaki’? The metamorphic reference as per some Hindi songs, of course, means a lover. However, the actual meaning of the word is a bar girl who serves drinks. And in the context of the poem, I am sitting in a bar, drinking, with no one at my side and in that state, to her, I dedicate this piece.

Yes, you

(husky sound)
These are the words straight from my heart
I wont recall them later
These are the words I will forget in the morning
These are the words I am never saying to anybody
Do you really want to know?
(Yes, please.)

When I look at you, you look away
And when I don’t look, you look my way.
(Baby, you’re mistaken,
I always look your way.)

Darling, is this love?
(It can’t be anything else.)
Are you in love with me?
Why don’t you say?
(Do you still need to know?
What more can I say?)

Eyes eyes eyes
The feeling in your eyes
Eyes eyes eyes
They tell me everything
(Oh, do they?)

(Since the time you went away
Baby, I have done nothing else
Other than think of you.
And my smile that you see on screen
Is ’cause of you.
‘Cause you know
I love you.)

When I smile at you, you still look away
And when I don’t look, you cross my way.
(Baby, you’re still mistaken,
I have always looked your way.)

Darling, is this love?
(Can it be anything else?)
Are you in love with me?
Why don’t you say?
(Do you still need to know?
Told ya, what more can I say?)

Eyes eyes eyes
The feeling in your eyes
Eyes eyes eyes
They tell me everything
(Oh, they try their very best!)

Aaye they jo tum

Hun main tujh par fidaaaye they jo tum
Ya hai ye fiza ka asar
Badi muddaton k baad hua hai
Aaj fir se ye zaam ka asar

Aaye they jo tum in nigahon k saamne
Sochti hi reh gayi main
Na kaha gaya kuch
Na raha gaya saath
Sochti reh gayi kaisa hai ye saath

Mehsoos hua kuch kuch
Dil mei bhuchaal sa aa gaya
Tadap gaya ye mann
Tadap gaya ye tann
Rom rom khush hua
Tum jo kareeb aaye

Jo jhoka sa tu aaya tha
Ek khushnuma eksaas liye
Magar wo chala gaya
Shayad….kaash

Tum jo haule se aaye they
Par dastak de gaye is dil mei
Ban na chahti thi humsafar tumhari
Wo nai toh jeevan bhar ki saathi

Kya sochungi kya prarthna karungi
Tum miloge toh sahi hi
Is janm na sahi
Agle janm mei hi sahi

Aaye they jo tum…

(dated Apr 18, 2013)

P.S: One of my best-est creations (according to me) 🙂

Prince charming and his sunshine

Prince Charming and his SunshineThere was a time
There lived a prince charming
And there lived his sunshine.

They met once, they met twice
And it went on till it was “quince”
Just fifth and all had changed
Things had grown more “intense”
He came to pick her, oh so literally
She was nervous, he scared
For once it was going to be a proper “milan”.

Next day, she had to go to a stupid function
And it delayed like too much
The few separated hours, the most difficult time “ever”
The laughs and the calls “away”
Everything seemed fake.

The night stroll on rickshaw together “unforgettable”
She in a traditional sari, he in a formal shirt
Like made for each other
Like no one else was there “in public”
“Jaisa filmo mei hota hai”
No rickshaw waala, no overlookers
Slight drizzle and holding hands together.

Just then, a lightning crackled
Like a picture perfect captured from heaven
Like this moment will never come “again”.

Entry to his palace stealthily added to the charm
With his royal family away somewhere
The courtiers in their own chambers
The palace all left to their demeanors
It was all “magic”.

They giggled, the place sizzled
Feeling like teenagers back “again”
Everything seemed real
There were many “firsts”
Love had blossomed
There was spring
There was rain, the “best” ever

She felt like cooing to him
But he already slept,
The creases of age all relaxed
Music in the background,
A perfect relaxed romantic background
The closeness relaxed her
First time both together
Like “this”, beside each other
Like the kind of pristine “love”.

Now, as she looks at the perfect pic
Like it didn’t have “that” shine
Like some sparkle rubbed off
The emotions running high made everything seem a daze
But it was not a faze
It was just a memoir of all the things “yet” to come
For the sixth, seventh, eighth, infinite times of “Them”
JUST THEM!!

(dated June 20, 2013)

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