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Longing

LongingDo you know what I want?
It’s the longing for the simplest of stuff
A mere hug from you to make me feel safe from myself
And just relax in your arms wrapped around my waist.

Is it too much to ask of you?
To have a feel of home with you.
The distance is not much, if you ask me
You just have to knock my heaven’s door

The door is ajar only for you
The magic will only let you slide through
Though the question still remains
Are you ready to take those simplest of steps?

(whisper) And say I will be there for you.

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In the search of

Image Courtesy: SurrealAberrantWhat is it? Who goes there?
I am searching. Willing to find me.
Hey, raise the alarms. Pull the trigger.
And just shoot. Point blank shoot. Halt!

Oh no, oh not
Couldn’t rightly say
Let me find my own way
‘ave to find me, ‘ave to find him and ‘ave to figure out us

I know it’s a long shot
You need to find him in this breath of frost
Did you see where he went?
Can you see where you’re going?

Oh, couldn’t say for sure
One way or the other, it’s still a lot
Could be he went this way
Could be he went another way

Now, what would you do?
How would you choose?
Think. Think. Think.

Take a shot. Use my brain.
Look over there.
Let me see where this river leads.

Oh stop stop stop
Stop please stop
This was not how it was going to be
I was supposed to reach a shore
Not go down like a baited fish

You are still not too tired.
Get a move on.
You heard him move.
Move. Move. Move.

(whispers) In here. Just lie here.
Shhh. I am finally rested at home
With nothing anymore to worry about.
(whispers) In here. Just lie here.

Could be
Couldn’t say for sure
Oh this could be it
Though I couldn’t still say for sure.

<white noise>

Time to tell

Time to tellThere was a thing going on in her head
That she couldn’t simply frame
Her life that was she could see seeping away
Every moment it felt more insane

Slushing and slogging all was there
Just that she couldn’t fit in her tiny-weeny brain
Her love that was she could see slipping away
Every second it more inflamed

She burnt deep down
She waited for it every night
Imagined in her waking dreams
She saw herself in the mirror
She was becoming like a mist

She lay awake
Still waiting on him, red-eyed
She saw everything like a crystal clear screen
Knew he was the one she needed to be
She couldn’t take the plunge, still

Partying and boozing all was there
That was the meaning of her being
Her sketch that was in front
Every instant it more befuddled

There was a thing going on in her head
That she couldn’t simply frame
Her love was just distancing away
Everything becoming a big charade

In a jiffy, all vanished
He woke from a dream
And was left staring
Into the whites of her eyes

Fairytale or not

How do you write?
Are you in so much love with him?
That’s what everyone asks me.
How can I make them believe?
That love is all around, you just have to recognize
And be prepared to break the fall.


It hit me hard, the headache part
I cried all night, tossing side by side
(chorus) Tossing side by side

Honey, will you wait for me when I am acting silly
Will you pull me up when I am drowning
(background) I know you will but it still drives me crazy
I know it’s a fairy tale I am dreaming of
A tale that I can’t figure where I do fit in
(chorus) Where do I fit in?

It hit me hard, the headache part
I cried all night, tossing side by side
(chorus) Tossing side by side

I pestered you again and again, I wished simply to be with you
But plans you had of your own and none included me in the known
For it was just another weekend for you, you were happy on your lone
I was left alone on the sidelines, movies passing by
(chorus) Left alone on the sidelines

It hit me hard, the headache part
I cried all night, tossing side by side
(chorus) Tossing side by side

Wise that you are, lies that you say
Or you just conveniently mention or forget away
It’s all a fly for you, or a makeover I know not
(background) Or so I believe every time it hits
Tell me frankly, I will try my best to handle the truth
That you never want me to be with you

It again hit me hard, the headache part
I cried all night, tossing side by side
(chorus) Tossing side by side, night after night

Crazy night

(background) What are you musing? It’s a crazy night for all to see.

30 down, 60 more to go
All clean as a slate
What do you mean?
Of course you have two
One for yourself
One for the rain
It’s just a check

(background) What will you do?

40 down, 50 more to go
All clean as a slate
I could not afford to lose it again
I could not for it was all that was left
One two and tango
No three, just a check

(background) What will you do, rock music moving you sway?

50 down, 40 more to go
All clean as a slate
I could not afford to bring her up again
But she was there in the background
All like a filmy score
It’s burning, check check check

(background) What will you do guzzling every single sec?

60 down, 30 more to go
All clean as a slate
You were all there was to my happiness
What do you mean?
Let’s do a tango
And that’s all left to check

(background) Why do you wanna do wiping it clean?

70 down, 20 more to go
Ok, nothing is neat
All is just fleeting
The surreal part just leaving
High-time, check.

(background) What are you gonna cry blurring every syllable aside?

80 down, 10 more to go
Ok, nothing is neat
All is just fleeting
The surreal part just leaving
High-time, I am hot.

(background) How do you wanna say? You are just crazy on the night.

90 down
And that’s enough
That’s my limit
For all to see
I am just drowning deep

(background) You are just crazy on this night.

Mmmm…. Mmmmm…

(background) You are just crazy on this night.

Note: Did this take time to write? Oh no. I am just high on the night. Like every other single night.

Life…

LifeRemember those days when
I bloomed under your tutelage
You taught damn well and I learnt a lot
Really, I did darling
The tricks and the tips
Oooo ooooo oooooooo

Remember those days when
I looked at you and you looked at me
We looked great together
The rolls churning the prints
The movie it was, we were the cast
Hey, you are all I imagined the one for me
(muffled) And much much more
(muffled) And miles and miles more
(muffled) And much much more
(muffled) And miles and miles more.

Remember those nights when
The fights with you then
Oh shit, that scared me
Darling, it still scares me
You leaving me in a blue
When it was still turning hue
I never had a clue that it was becoming this true
The cries muffled in the noise of my beats
(muffled) You were all I ever imagined the one for me
(muffled) You are all I will ever imagine the one for me

Remember what,
My memory just kicked me in the gut
I laugh a lot all the time
I laugh at you, I laugh at me
I am going crazy just thinking about you

But remember
I see the glimmer of hope in your eyes
Every time I look at your pic
Now and then, here and there
(muffled) But I know you always deserved a better life.
(muffled) A bigger life than me.
(muffled) Oh no, don’t remember
No no, not remember
(muffled) You now have a different life.
You have a different life.

Us, tangled (Part – 2)

IMG_1789Baby, let’s talk today
I wanna tell you about my happy times
And all include you in the frame
‘coz any frame loses the charm when it not finds you

(Oh, you are just stupid
I know you are ‘tupid to be in love with me and so am I
My life just stops without you
And I do whatsapp on my own to fill the hole that’s you)

I am happy when I see you smile
I am even happy to hear your voice
I am happy when you call me
I am happy simply to see you flash on my mobile screen
I thought I would go crazy missing you

(Oh, you are just stupid
And I can do anything to untangle your life
I will fix it baby, I will fix it for you
I will fix all for you)

I no want the fix if it not has you
I no want anything in my life
I no want anything, you are my life
Say what you may, my heart knows the truth
It only and only loves you
I love you…

(Both) I love you…

Prequel to this is: Us, tangled

Us, tangled

BloodBlood blood blood, oh blood everywhere
Then I turned, saw you and jumped out of a dream.
Baby, do I act this every night?
Or it’s your nearness tipping me crazy
(Honey, will you please relax?
I am gonna be at your side, be your life)

Oh yesterday was my favourite day
(‘t was mine too)
You were there with no one around
(Oh ya, no one around)
Or were there, and we didn’t notice?
(Ya, may be
Baby, you can imagine all you want)

Those little moments, the fights, the love
Those stolen kisses in the midst of the crowd meant everything to me
(Still you didn’t stop me while
I was walking out in the middle of the night.
It was my self respect I sacrificed for the love of you)

I am sorry.
I never expected, it wasn’t my experience before
Darling, you were my dreams born in reality
I was shocked, I was petrified, I was scared
I could see you again going away from me.
(Honey, will you please relax?
I am gonna be at your side, be your life)

Blood blood blood, oh blood everywhere
Then I turned, saw you and jumped out of a dream.
Can I dare of thinking a life with you?
Please tell me, can I dare of thinking a life with you
Oh please tell me, do not keep mum this time at least.

Saaki

SaakiKaise kiya tha, o sakhi
Wo kadam badhaye they kaise
Rukh hi toh modne ka sahash kiya tha tu ne
Bhale tab sab mitti mei mil gaye they.

Darpan hai wo, mera pratibimb hai
Kaise chunun kis shakshiyat ko
Bas yehi toh mere jeevan ki dor hai.

Kuch achha idhar hai, kuch accha udhar
Kuch bura idhar hai, kuch bura udhar
Aur is idhar udhar k chakkar mei
Sab bera-gark hai.

Kaha tha us ko ek baar
Kaidd kar k rakh lena
Kabhi jaane na dena
Par sabki apni zindagi hai
Koi kisi ka kabhi thode hi hai
Na kabhi ban sakega
Na main aur na wo khud.

Prerana leni hai tujhse
Sikhna hai bahut kuch ab bhi
Har sambhav koshish karte rehna hai mujhko
Zindagi k palon ko ullas mei jo tabdil karna hai.

Kar sakungi kya
Kya itni himmat hai mujh mei
Talaab k us paar jaane par bhi
Kahin patthar hi toh na milenge.

Sab kuch bas ek soch hai
Jeevan ki ek kashish hai.
Yun aate hain bas yaad kisi k shabd aaj
Ki zindagi ek safar hai bas sifar se sifar tak.

 

Added February 13, 2014:
Why did I call my poem ‘Saaki’? The metamorphic reference as per some Hindi songs, of course, means a lover. However, the actual meaning of the word is a bar girl who serves drinks. And in the context of the poem, I am sitting in a bar, drinking, with no one at my side and in that state, to her, I dedicate this piece.

Yes, you

(husky sound)
These are the words straight from my heart
I wont recall them later
These are the words I will forget in the morning
These are the words I am never saying to anybody
Do you really want to know?
(Yes, please.)

When I look at you, you look away
And when I don’t look, you look my way.
(Baby, you’re mistaken,
I always look your way.)

Darling, is this love?
(It can’t be anything else.)
Are you in love with me?
Why don’t you say?
(Do you still need to know?
What more can I say?)

Eyes eyes eyes
The feeling in your eyes
Eyes eyes eyes
They tell me everything
(Oh, do they?)

(Since the time you went away
Baby, I have done nothing else
Other than think of you.
And my smile that you see on screen
Is ’cause of you.
‘Cause you know
I love you.)

When I smile at you, you still look away
And when I don’t look, you cross my way.
(Baby, you’re still mistaken,
I have always looked your way.)

Darling, is this love?
(Can it be anything else?)
Are you in love with me?
Why don’t you say?
(Do you still need to know?
Told ya, what more can I say?)

Eyes eyes eyes
The feeling in your eyes
Eyes eyes eyes
They tell me everything
(Oh, they try their very best!)

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